by Uni Blogger and nonamedufus
WASHINGTON, DC (S&A) Fresh from his Heisman trophy win following a weekend of watching NFL matches, President Obama summoned all his experience in this area to intervene in one of the most memorable controversies to rock the world of professional football.
In an 11th hour call to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Obama managed to negotiate a reversal of the NFL’s decisions to disallow Rush Limbaugh’s partnership in the group bidding to buy the St. Louis Rams.
A week ago Limbaugh, a renowned doctor-shopper and oxycontin connoisseur, commented that his football woes were the result of how Obama was running America. “What is happening to the National Football League, what is about to happen to it, has already happened to Wall Street, has already happened to the automobile business,” claiming he had been done in by the media’s “blind hated”.
Obama, speaking to FOX News’s Chris Wallace, in an interview that never aired – and according to the transcript obtained by S&A – told the so-called research arm of the Republican party, “I’ve decided to not only let this guy with a great football name back into the bidding process but I’m also appointing him as chairman of the Federal Reserve and making him the government’s point man with the auto industry.
Limbaugh’s plans for the St. Louis Rams include demoting all African American team members to water boys and Gatorade garcons while firing all the Mexicans who do that now.