Critics Accuse PM of Hubris after National Arts Centre Triumph
PM Responds by Blaming Ashlee Simpson and Yo Yo Mah for Setting Bad Examples
by Uni Blogger and nonamedufus
OTTAWA (S&A) – Only a few short weeks ago Stephen Harper was the toast of the town. That was when he brought down the house with his rendition of the Beatles’ “A Little Help From My Friends”. It was before a packed black-tie audience at the National Arts Centre no less and with none other than the celebrated cellist Yo Yo Mah at his side. He tickled the ivories, he sang and the crowd went wild. A big Beatles’ fan he could have sung their whole catalogue. The world was his oyster!
Well, that was then, this is now. Two nights ago, a cell-phone video began circulating on You Tube. The video begins with the Prime Minister at a local Ottawa hockey rink shaking hands awkwardly with a thirteen year-old player who some say resembles his son. As spectators stood to sing “O Canada”, the camera fixed on Harper who was staring at a scrap of paper as he began to sing. But instead of singing the words to the national anthem, he dropped the piece of paper and moved his lips inaudibly. A lip reader hired by the National Post, confirmed that Harper was actually mouthing nonsense syllables. Post reporters retrieved the scrap of paper to find a 1901 version of the anthem which began with:
O Canada, Our Father’s land of old
Thy brow is crowned with leaves …
“Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…”
Harper, who had been provided the lyrics by the PMO Press Office who apparently had not realized that there had been many a change in the lyrics in the ensuing century, then made a crucial mistake: Rather than admit that like the majority of Canadians, he had no idea what the words were to O Canada, he first blamed Ashlee Simpson for setting a bad example for lip-syncing on Saturday Night Live several years ago. When reporters pointed out that he was claiming to have been influenced by a vacuous twenty-year old, Harper shifted the blame to Yo Yo Mah who pretended to play his cello in the sub-zero temperature of President Obama’s inauguration.
Opposition politicians were scathing: “You know, he could have chosen something by John Lennon. This man is really low-brow and not fit to be prime minister” said an outraged Michael Ignatieff, leader of the official opposition.
“Why did he just shake that boy’s hand? Why couldn’t he have given him a nice fatherly hug?” cried Jack Layton leader of the New Democratic Party. “We know Harper’s a milquetoast. Now he’s also Milli Vanilli.”
“Why doan ‘e sing “Mon Pay”? lamented Gilles Duceppe, the Harpo Marx lookalike leader of the Bloc Quebecois, giving voice to his concerns.
Cheryl Gallant, who some believe to be Kermit the Frog’s girlfriend, a Conservative member of Parliament and Harper’s official cheerleader, indicated she would have nothing to say until she receives written lines from the Prime Minister’s Office. She has yet to comment.
“Baby, you can drive my car…”