Government Cheques and Balances

Is Harper Offside in Latest Goal?

by Uni Blogger and nonamedufus

OTTAWA (S&A) – Prime Minister Stephen Harper ratcheted up the government cheque presentation debacle last week and found himself on thin ice as he skated into the debate surrounding moving a National Hockey League team to Canada.

In an apparent metaphorical “let’s go” aimed at NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, the Prime Minister dropped the gloves and proclaimed at a media opportunity that “I think the cities of Quebec, Hamilton and Winnipeg are all able to support a team”.

The Winnipeg Jets folded up their tent and moved to Phoenix to become the Deadbeat Dogs of the NHL, the Coyotes, in 1996.  The Nordiques moved to Colorado to become the Avalanche in 1995.  Hamilton has never had an NHL team even though RIM chairman Jim Balsillie has attempted on three separate occasions to buy and move an NHL franchise to the Steel City.  Each time he’s been shut out thanks to the fancy stick work of Bettman.

For his part, Harper is clearly thinking of an upcoming national election and may be planning on handing out NHL franchises as part of his government’s recovery program known as Canada’s Economic Action Plan.

“Can’t you just picture government Members of Parliament presenting huge mocked-up cheques to various cities with the Conservative Party logo on them?” mused Harper to reporters.

Cheque-gate

Government of Canada awards 15 NHL franchises last week

“It’s a win-win,” continued the PM.  “Every mid to major market gets an NHL franchise AND a Conservative Member of Parliament.”

When reached for comment, flamboyant hockey analyst  Don Cherry responded, “Hell you’ve got to hand it to the Prime Minister.  He’s ready to get his elbows up in the corners.  No sissy visors like the Liberals wear!”

When asked about possible collateral damage a Hamilton team might inflict upon Toronto, Cherry responded, “Hey, maybe Steve could find a team for Toronto, too!”

NHL-MEETINGBettman indicates the chances of Harper’s plan succeeding

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Government Cheques and Balances

  1. Andrew P

    How would they deal with the names? This isn’t the CFL, you can’t have 3 teams with the same name (as I’m sure would be req’d by the Cons)

    Maybe the

    Hamilton Harpers
    Winnipeg Whigs
    Quebec Conservateurs?

    ?

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