Michael Ignatieff Talks to Himself

No One Else Will Listen

by Uni Bomber and nonamedufus

OTTAWA (S&A) – On the heels of this week’s by-election results where the Liberals failed to win a single seat  Slings and Arrows has caught up with Liberal Opposition Leader Michael Ignatieff, the thinking-man’s politician, deep in thought, contemplating the injustice of the situation being used as one more mark against his leadership.

[sings to himself]

Day after day, alone on a hill, the man with the foolish grin is keeping  perfectly still…

Ignatieff_gun-re_325522artwThey made Peter Mansbridge Chancellor of Mount Allison University?  And I’m still stuck in this job?  One of the deep thinkers of our time – yeah, right!  Talk about an injustice…

Iffy: We can do better.

Iffy: So you keep saying.  That slogan’s come back to haunt us.

Iffy: I don’t know what more I could have done.  I gave all the Liberal candidates that version of the Harvard fighting song we sing at caucus each week.

Iffy: How does that go again?

Iffy: Latin or English?

Iffy: English s’il vous plait

Iffy:

Ten thousand men of Harvard want vict’ry today

For they know that o’er old Stephen

Fair Harvard holds sway

So then we’ll conquer all old Stephen’s men

And when the game ends, we’ll sing again

Ten thousand men of Harvard gained vict’ry today

Iffy: Wow.  I’m impressed.  Bob would have hit them with a chorus of Follow the Yellow Brick Road and left it at that.

Iffy: That Rae.  He tickles my ivories.  Thinks all it takes to be a leader is to leave weather updates on his Facebook page.  Now there’s an example of “Rae’s Daze” for you.

Iffy: Oh, I see what you did there.  Very good.

Iffy: Huh?

Iffy: Never mind. So looking back, how did the rest of our week go?

Iffy: Not so great. That pollster Nick Nanos says it won’t do any good to politicize the H1N1 debate. Now what will I do?

Iffy: Get shot..er, ah, a flu shot?

Iffy: Has Hedy Fry opened up her Parliamentary clinic yet?

Iffy:  No we talked her out of it, remember?

Iffy: Yeah she was no problem.  It was the rest of caucus that needed a talking to.  Good thing I brought in Peter…Peter…what’s his name…

Iffy: Donolo.  New blood…used to work for Chretien.

Iffy:  Yeah, yeah, the Great Communicator – and no one’s heard from him since I made him my Chief of Staff.

Iffy: You know that dopey snowboarder candidate in Kelowna could be a stroke of genius.

Iffy: How do you figure?

Iffy: We’ll get him to run on a platform of using medicinal marijuana to combat H1N1.  That’s sure to attract the youth vote.

Iffy:  Just what we need in Ottawa – more Little Liberals.

Iffy: Just thinking out loud.

Iffy: And look where that’s gotten us!

***

For non-Ignatieff related injustices, elect to hop on over to Humor Bloggers Dot Com where November is Anti Injustice Month.

HBDCinjustice

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