Phoque That…

And Other Juicy Tidbits

by Uni Blogger and nonamedufus

*sound of computer mouse clicking*

Hello Mr. and Mrs. Canada from border to border and coast to coast to coast and all the ships at sea.  Let’s go to the interwebs…

The Governor General has given her seal of approval to the latest entrée on the Parliamentary Restaurant’s menu.  Ottawa is currently hunting for a seal supplier and if located seal meat will soon be found where Senators and Members of Parliament dine.  The GG, who in a public display in Nunavut earlier this year went to the heart of the matter when she ate des phoques raw heart is said to be pleased Parliament is joining the club.

CTV head honcho Ivan Fecan has told the Canadian Radio, Television and Telecommunications Commission that he’d be forced to pull the plug on the television network if the CRTC didn’t go along with their demands that cable companies pay them for programming.  This comes as a relief to viewers of CTV News who think Lloyd Robertson and Craig Oliver had died years ago.  Can you say Weekend at Bernie’s, guys?

Canada’s answer to Walter Cronkite…he’s dead too!

In a report published recently by Transparency International, Canada is viewed as one of the least corrupt nations in the world and held as an example to the United States and other nations in North and South America.  It is not, apparently, held in high esteem by the city of Montreal.

Is the latest casualty of President Obama’s handling of the economy…wait for it…Lou Dobbs?  The paunchy provocateur says he lost his job at CNN because of the American President.  Dobbs says he and CNN came to an abrupt parting of the ways because his anti-Obama rants and anti-immigrant tirades didn’t fit with the news network’s approach to news.  CBC apparently offered Dobbs a job to replace fellow school of bombastic financial gloom and doom graduate Kevin O’Leary but he turned down the offer saying Canada didn’t have enough Mexicans.

And, finally, in what has become a regular occurence, the Harper  government released the following denials last week:

The Katzenjammer Twin tag team of Lawrence Canon and Peter McKay denied there was “provable torture” after Canadian troops handed over prisoners to the Afghans.

Peter Van Loan and Stockwell Day denied there was “provable evidence” that long guns kill people indicating, meanwhile, there is evidence to suggest some people kill some other people’s long gun registry.

The Prime Minister and Jim Prentice denied there was “definitive evidence” of climate change.

Change we can’t believe in.

Jim “Grinch” Flaherty denied that pre-schoolers should unquestionably accept the existence of Santa Claus as they’d be setting themselves up for a big disappointment later on in life.

And Pierre Poilievre, the Prime Minister’s Parliamentary Secretary, denied “all those stories that I had no real job or income until I discovered this great Member of Parliament gig”.

Hey, the same stuff happened today that happened yesterday…only to different people.

Good night, and good luck.


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