Know More. Know Now.

NO MORE.  NOT NOW.

by Uni Blogger and nonamedufus

TORONTO (S&A) – In an exclusive arrangement with the polling firm Pathetic Counsel, Slings and Arrows has undertaken a comprehensive review – at least as equally comprehensive as the CBC’s news – into the so-called “news-shift” of CBC Newsworld to CBC News Network.

Pathetic Counsel President Allan Brag says the only shift in the news channel’s overhaul has been the shift of viewers to CTV NewsNet.  “The Much Music approach to news has alienated viewers,” says Brag.  “Grown-up Canadians want grown-up news delivered by grown-up people.”

The slick promos promise you that “It’s an all new CBC news.  Coming to you in an exciting new way.”  But Brag says the majority of Canadians they polled prefer the old way.  “Canadians want their news with facts and depth; the 5 Ws, if you will, not the WTF.”

“In an effort to get to the root of the problem we asked some direct questions,” bragged Brag.  “For example one thing we asked was ‘why do you think Power and Politics host Evan Solomon has a glass anchor desk?’  The majority of Canadians – 69% – responded, ‘so he can check the shine on his shoes’.  27% thought he was checking to see if his zipper was down.”

“As well we asked how Connect host Mark Kelley might appear to be more empathetic,” said Brag . “53% felt he should dress like Fox News’ Geraldo Rivera.  Another 39% thought maybe he should grow a Pancho Villa style mustache.

Mark Kelley before…pathetic

Mark Kelley after…empathetic

Brag reports the vast majority of those polled also found the constant promoting of stories coming up as opposed to simply reporting those stories – the Entertainment Tonight approach – to be annoying.

“The CBC is telling us they want us to ‘Know more.  Know now’.  But the message we’re getting is ‘No more.  Not now.'”

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2 Comments

Filed under media

2 responses to “Know More. Know Now.

  1. thinkinfyou

    I don’t think that a guy with a mustache looks trustworthy,so I don’t think that a good way to get more viewers.

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