MP LANGUAGE GETS HEAVY
by Uni Blogger and nonamedufus
OTTAWA (Slings And Arrows) – In an exclusive to Slings and Arrows, Government MP Gerald Keddy has admitted he wasn’t talking about the homeless in Halifax when he was uttering the epithet “no-good bastards” in Parliament last week. “No, I was aiming my remarks at the mindless in the House of Commons,” admitted Keddy.
Keddy says he was sick and tired of the disparaging remarks aimed at political heavyweight Dean Del Mastro. “First, Scarborough Liberal MP Michelle Simpson tweeted she hoped Del Mastro would grow up not out and then Scott Brison called him a pavillon. So he’s a little on the heavy side. Big deal? Sorry, I didn’t mean ‘big’ deal, I meant ‘what’s the problem?'”
Keddy added, “Hey, we don’t shout across the aisle ‘who wears the pants in your family?’ when Michelle or Scott get up to speak. I mean we’re not like that. Just because Del casts a huge shadow is no reason to make fun of his portliness.” And Keddy continued, “He’s lost 80 pounds recently. He could have been the biggest loser…I mean on that TV show…not in the House of Commons.
Asked if he regretted using colourful language in the House of Commons, Keddy replied “No fucking way. I won’t apologize for the air being blue…hey, I’m a Conservative for Christ’s sake.”
Keddy also said the fat jokes have no place in the House of Commons and should be kept to where they belong: “…the Upper Chamber, where Mike Duffy works.”