Is Another Man’s Cocktail Hostess
North of the border, here in Canada, we’re a quiet somewhat boring nation. It doesn’t take much to keep us happy. We’re content with our half-dozen maple-coated glazed Tim-Bits and medium double-double. Uh, that’s the part left over when they cut the hole out of a doughnut and a coffee with two creams and two sugars. So you can imagine the impact an American sex scandal has on our under-used, frost-bitten little minds.
What is it that happens to a man in America once he’s attained wealth, celebrity or power? It seems the minute they get ahead, they get a head. (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) Alright, alright, not all men. But some. Some very stupid men. Some very stupid men who are supposed to be very smart.
Remember the former governor of South Carolina. Mark Sanford told folks he was going for a little hike on the Appalachian trail. It didn’t take long, in the vernacular of Sarah Palin, for the gotchya media to figure out “hiking on the Appalachian trail” was a new euphemism for making it with his Argentinian mistress. His political career? Down in flames. Sanford obviously doesn’t read or watch television. Otherwise what happened to John Edwards or Bill Clinton might have registered. Although, miraculously, Clinton’s reputation somehow rose like a Phoenix from the cigar ashes.
Flash forward to our latest case of his flagrante being caught in her delicto – Tiger Woods. Yep, he had his putter in her sand trap; his wedge in her…well you get the idea. Only with Tiger, it seems he didn’t limit his game to one course. Turns out he was in an adulterous affair with several women. We knew he could swing, but wow.
We’ve got absolutely nothing to compare to these prurient pyrotechnics here in the Great White North. Hell, it’s too cold up here. Canadian men are the faithful type. Besides, we have to keep it in our pants for fear of freezing it off.
Pass me a Tim-Bit.
*This post first appeared at The Offended American.