Another Opportunity Missed To Be A Real Leader
Once upon a time, in a dark and melting land, lived a puppet known as Pinheadio who wished with all his wooden heart that he could be a real, live leader. As the stiff, wooden Prime Minister of this Northern nation of Tim Bit crunchers and double-double swallowers known as Cantaduh, Pinheadio tried very hard to endear himself to the little people but each time his foot danced a step forward a string yanked it two steps back.
Now it was no secret that Pinheadio’s father and mentor, Hypcritto, who just happened to be the leader of the biggest nation of gallon for gallon gas-guzzlers of the free world, was the one pulling Pinheadio’s strings.
There were those that wondered how Pinheadio and Hypcritto could be related since Pinheadio was as white as a newborn baby’s bum – and had often been referred to as something close to that description – and Hypcritto was as black as the coal-producing states he so craved electoral support from. But the rumour was that Pinheadio was adopted, as most puppets are. Pinheadio’s tell-tale black nose was the one give-away that the two were close.
The United States of Disunion’s influence on Cantaduh was unmistakable. It could be seen in its trade, its economic policy, and in its television programming.
So it came as no surprise when Pinheadio chose to walk in lock-step with Hypcritto on a little matter of climate change, prompting many to repeat Marcellus’ oft quoted line “who cut the cheese in the state of Denmark”.
You see, Hypcritto trumpeted – don’t stand too close Pinheadio, you’ll get some on you – a new climate change charter that was “a meaningful and unprecedented breakthrough”. Oddly enough, the charter contained no deadlines, no limits and wasn’t binding. You’d think for all that cheesiness it would at least be binding. Some deal! And yet Pinheadio rushed in, where wise men fear to tread, and parroted his buddy’s exultations. Well, at least there was no photo-op for the camera-shy Pinheadio to be late for.
We know why Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee saw eye to eye. But of course. As Hypcritto craves coal country’s backing, so too does Pinheadio prefer the petroleum patch’s support. And this deal leaves wide open the setting of special emission levels for the energy sector.
Is this a good deal, overall? Hmmm… Why is Pinheadio’s nose starting to grow?