Here’s how our editorial cartoonists viewed events last week…
Monthly Archives: January 2010
Impressions and Feelings
Good evening and welcome to my own personal newscast. I’m Peter Man-and-a-half – not that dead guy on the other network – and this is the National.
I wonder if they get the subtle hint I’m a stand-up kinda guy ’cause the network doesn’t give me a chair? Damn cost-cutting measures.
In our headlines tonight:
– the government makes an impression that is felt across the country and is sure to cause their popularity to go downhill;
– and, someone made an impression on the government that is felt by the Minister of Fisheries;
Who writes this stuff? Oh, yeah, I do.
First, let’s go to Terry Mewlleftski in Ottawa for tonight’s top story.
Did I carry that off? Enough tenor in my voice? Not too much shine on my ever-balding head?
Thank you Peter. Yes the government’s popularity is sure to go downhill because government members have all the good seats at the Olympic downhill event. (Oh, that’s so damn clever.) News tonight that members of the federal government are jumping the queue (a good word to display my British heritage on a Canadian newscast) to obtain Olympic event tickets. Reports indicate government members and their cronies (damn that’s a fine nondescript word, especially with my accent – brilliant) were given first dibs on tickets to Olympic events, leaving the public in many cases unable to obtain entry to the events after waiting hours on the phone to place their order.
Terry Mewlleftski in Vancouver tonight.
Uh, I’m in Ottawa, now, Peter. Remember I got transferred here as part of the network’s cost-cutting measures?
Right, thanks Terry.
No tickets for Terry.
With us in the studio, now, is Wendy Measly, with our next story.
Damn, she looks hot. Too bad we called it quits.
Why aren’t there any chairs around here? Are we trying to save money again?
The impression I get after spending all week investigating and wearing the same clothes as I am tonight are that Canadians aren’t just ticked at the government for proroguing, or for the one person in the country who hasn’t heard that term yet, suspending Parliament. Just take a look at this picture of Fisheries Minister Gail Shea who had a tofu cream pie thrown in her face this week by a PETA member demonstrating the seal hunt.
Thanks, Wendy. You might say that’s a sweet picture, ha, ha.
Ha, PETA – Pies for Everyone Tossed by Asshats
Did I just say that out loud…oops.
Peter’s got that look in is eye. Man, it’s harder to get rid of him than it is my old feather duster – just like that Swiffer commercial. Oh, oh. Now I can’t get that “I Want You Back” song out of my head.
Watch it, Peter, I felt that!
And that’s the National, Good Night.
And that’s my contribution to this week’s Theme Thursday. We’re doing “impressions” and “feelings” this time around. Hop on over there and follow the links to see how other folks interpreted this week’s theme. I’m a day early again because, ahem, I felt like it.
Hear My Prayer
Our Stephen who art not in Ottawa
Harlequin be thy name.
Gets more work done
When Parliament’s undone
for elites as it is for chattering masses.
Give us this day our talking head
and give us our MPs
as we boot those who prorogue against us
and lead us not into prevarication
but deliver us from Tories.
For thine is electoral defeat,
no power and no glory,
for ever and ever.
Cabinet Minister Helena Guergis would appear to be on a track different from the majority of Canadians. She says voters are pleased with Parliament being prorogued, not outraged. And she dismisses the growing anti-prorogation phenomenon on Facebook. Hmmm… Methinks some of these cabinet ministers are delusional. Here’s another view…
Buns, Dough & Breadsticks
It’s an odd comparison, nevertheless there are many similarities between bread and politics, beyond the obvious comparison to our Prime Minister having a physique similar to that of the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
For example, bread is one of the oldest prepared foods, dating back to the Neolithic era. Politics is one of the oldest professions (yeah, the other one) and it still demonstrates it’s origins from the Neanderthal period.
“Bread” denotes other things. For example in the Lord’s Prayer there’s the line “Give us this day our daily bread” meaning general necessities. And in the 50s, beatniks coined the phrase bread to mean money. It’s been used interchangeably with “dough” ever since. Here, in Canada, voters are often heard directing such a phrase at the Finance Minister, almost daily.
When bread is served after it comes out of the oven it’s at a raised temperature. Often when politicians serve up policies for the public, it raises our temperature.
Now here’s something I found fascinating. Did you know the Roman poet Juvenal satirised superficial politicians and the public as caring only for “panem et circenses”? Any Latin students out there? It means bread and circuses! And it’s funny how things haven’t changed. To many voters, politics is one huge circus. Here in Canada, it’s a word often used to describe the daily Question Period.
Tuesday this week Stephen Harper shuffled his cabinet. It wasn’t much of an affair; no big stars on the horizon. You might say “meh” or you might say half a loaf is better than none but I certainly don’t think you’d say the greatest thing since sliced bread.
And keep this in mind, at election time many politicians worry about being toast!
If you’re interested in a different take on “bread” – and something tells me there are others – drop over to Theme Thursday tomorrow and click on the links. I’m a day early because I’m early to rise.