Ottawa Olympians

House Prorogues So That Training Can Begin

by nonamedufus

Prime Minister Stephen Harper prorogued Parliament this week and immediately moved his caucus to Whistler to start training for the Olympic games.  Politicial observers were curious over the move since the Conservative caucus has demonstrated time after time it’s proficiency at games and wondered why any training was necessary.

Peterborough MP Dean Del Mastro, a Conservative parliamentary heavyweight, was delighted with the PM’s decision to suspend Parliament saying “We’ve got the Olympics coming up, which is very significant.  It makes good sense to be focused on that.  The Olympics will focus the public more on our masterful game-playing than the venue of Question Period allowed.”  Added Del Mastro, “I’ve already been training.  I must have shed at least 3 pounds.”

The decision didn’t please all members of the governing party. For his part, Pierre “Pit Bull porte-parole” Poilievre was crestfallen, having had his soapbox effectively silenced for the next 3 months.  “Who the hell will I snap at between now and March,” moaned Poilievre.

The Prime Minister was quick to choose up teams and appoint captains to various disciplines.  For example, he immediately replaced Steve Yzerman with John Baird as head of Canada’s Olympic hockey team indicating the combative Transport Minister was far better in the corners than anyone he’d ever seen.

Two minutes for looking so good…

He named Defence Minister Peter McKay head of Canada’s downhill ski-team since, in his words, “Peter’s been rapildy going down hill for some time now so who better to bring in those record times.”

Excelling at downhill career

And he appointed Lawrence “Big Guns” Cannon to look after the biathlon contingent since the External Affairs Minister has significant experience in the “shoot and run” approach to diplomacy.

Finally, Harper appointed Health Minister Leona Aglukkaq as head of the speed skating team.  In making the announcement, the Prime Minister indicated how he marvelled at her ability to skate circles round Canadians on the H1N1 issue.

The consensus of observers is that the Canadian contingent is sure to win a record number of medals since they’ve been practicing playing games with Canadians since they were first elected.

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Filed under conservatives, Harper, olympics

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