The Throne Speech We Won’t See Today

But We Can Dream

by nonamedufus

Hey, Steve, pass the donuts.

The SFT (Speech From the Throne) today and the budget tomorrow are the work of 3 months of “recalibrating”.  But even after Jason Kenney told Canadians early on he was getting more work done without the House sitting (read: and worry about the public, the media and those pesky opposition MPs) and Helena Guergis telling Prince Edward Islanders she was working her ass off for them (read: get me out of this hell hole) I get the uncomfortable sense Wednesday and Thursday will likely be the SOSO (same old, same old).

How to recalibrate: 1 day to retune; 3 months to sit on your ass.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  No, for instance, they could hire Dr. Roger Jackson as the President of the Treasury Board.  You know.  The Own the Podium guy.  The program was largely derided in the Games’ early goings, including here on this blog, but come the conclusion with 26 medals overall, 14 of them gold, the program seems to have been an immense success.  I’m sure he could transform Canada’s Economic Action Plan into something like, oh, I don’t know “Own the Government”.  Let’s see how many medals Ministers might win for turning their departments into lean, mean economic machines working for Canadians, instead of taxpayers working for them.  I believe.

Or how about “Sid the Kid” as sports Minister.  Sure, Gary Lunn did a terrific job at the Olympics.  But the dimunitive Minister of State for Sports just doesn’t measure up.  Put Sidney Crosby in there.  He’ll score when it counts.

Sexier than Gary Lunn.  And can score goals.

Finally, I think the government should replace John Baird as Transport Minister.  Replace him with Akio Toyoda, the CEO and President of Toyota. And while Steve’s at it, make him responsible for Senior Citizens.  Then the government could announce a new program whereby it would give, free-of-charge, a Toyota to each and every senior citizen in the country.  Talk about killing two birds with one stone.  How economical is that?  That’ll draw down that pension over-run for sure.

But, alas, we voted Steve and his minority midgets in to power.  We’re forced to take what they give us.  I guess you could say, “You asked for it, you got it.”

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Filed under conservatives, Parliament, SFT

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