Travel “Advisory” Issued
OTTAWA (Slings And Arrows) – The Prime Minister has taken steps to avoid further gaffes by his Cabinet Ministers at the nation’s airports. The government has been embarrassed twice now by the behaviour of Ministers. One called Charlottetown a “hellhole” and told airport staff she’d been “working my ass off for you people.” The other Minister was bent out of shape when Ottawa airport security wouldn’t allow him to take a bottle of tequila on board a flight with him.
Mr. Harper promises to prevent future flunky flare-ups by issuing all Ministers the Never Have To Say You’re Sorry Tory Travel Kit. The kit includes: a fine collection of alcoholic spirits in bottles under 100 millilitres.
A 24 of Devil’s Pale Ale in cans (it’s all about the environment) so a Minister can call any place in Canada a “hell hole” with conviction.
One free class with every ministerial subscription to Jazzercise so Ministers can truthfully say they’re “working their asses off”.
And each kit will contain a travel pillow because, between you and me, we know what a pain in the neck those pesky constituents can be.
And finally, just to be on the safe side, each Minister will be issued a roll of duct tape that can be affixed to their mouths while they pass through security.