Nickelback Hires New Drummer

Stephen Harper Snares Drummer Gig – Goes After Youth Vote

by nonamedufus

OTTAWA (Slings And Arrows) – Canadian super group Nickelback announced today they’ve hired the fourth drummer in their 15 year career, rivalling Spinal Tap for the number of drummers employed by a mediocre rock and roll group.

Kroeger and new Nickelback drummer Steve ‘Boom-Boom’ Harper

“Stephen Harper’s the perfect candidate,” said leader Chad Kroeger.  “The guy’s from Alberta, like the rest of us and he’s shown he can perform in public after playing that Beatles’ song at the National Arts Centre.”

Kroeger says Harper has started practicing with the group, learning the group’s music catalogue, as quickly as he can.  “At this rate he’ll prorogue the House again by May so we can get out on tour.”

“He’s really in to our older stuff like “Not Leavin’ Yet” and “Leader of Men”, says Kroeger.  He says he’s been singing that stuff for years.

“It’s a match made in heaven,” says the band’s leader and front man.  “Like Nickelback, his government is no stranger to criticism.  Nickelback’s been dissed for it’s lack of creativity.  Ditto Harper.  We’ve been told our lyrics are “bone-headed”.  Ditto speeches by Harper.”

” Finally, we’ve inspired a Facebook group called Can this pickle get more fans than Nickelback? And Steve’s inspired a Facebook Group called Can this onion ring get more fans than Stephen Harper?,” says Kroeger.  “And everyone knows how well pickles and onion rings go together!”

When asked by a reporter if Harper knows how to play the drums, Kroeger responded, “Well, ah, no, I can’t say the guy has got much rhythm.  After all, he’s been out of step since he formed his first government.  But, hey, he’ll fit right in with the rest of us in the group, man.”

“Ba-da-boom.  We’re here all week.”


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Filed under Harper, Nickelback

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