Coalition of the Unchillin’

by nonamedufus

OTTAWA (Slings and Arrows) – Slings and Arrows has learned that discussions between the Liberals and New Democratic Party on the possibility of forming a coalition are almost complete.

“Pull my finger”

“Listen, pulling his finger was preferable to some of the other things he wanted me to do.”

Many details behind a successful coalition have apparently been worked out such as a shared leadership, to be formally known as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb, cabinet assignments and even a name for the new amalgamated group of politicians: the New Liberal Demagogic Party.

Liberal leader chief of staff Peter Idoantno when asked if he was particularly pleased with the progress the talks had made said, “I’m, particularly pleased with the progress the talks have made”.

For her part, New Democrat Party president Peggy Gnash snarled, “The talks have made progress and I’m particularly pleased.”

But while assignments for personnel and agreements on matters of policy have been hammered out, the two party leaders are having trouble coming to grips with just how the coalition should be sold to Canadians in the coming election.

“It remains to be seen if we’ll be taking a hardline approach against the Conservatives as favoured by the Liberals or a softer approach, promoted by the NDP, which puts the New Liberal Demagogic Party front and center,”  said so-called media guru and former tobacco industry lobbyist, hired by the coalition, Barry McCoughin.

Party members will be voting on the following two approaches in the coming days.

1) Hardline approach as proposed by the Liberals:

2) Soft approach promoted by NDP:

Media guru McCoughin says it will be important that each approach be focus-tested with Canadians and the results shared with the two party caucuses before a vote takes place. “We need to be able to sing from the same song sheet, as it were,” said McCoughin. “Both approaches might be applicable in different parts of the country. For example, Back in Black may appeal to right wing heterosexual Albertans while the softer Reunited would likely pull in wishy-washy central Canadian voters such as housewives and drag queens.”

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2 Comments

Filed under coalition, Liberals, NDP

2 responses to “Coalition of the Unchillin’

  1. unfinishedrambler

    While I love the contrast of Peaches & Herb and AC/DC, I especially love the quotes regurgitated back to the press in just the way they questioned the politicians. As a reporter myself here in the States, I can appreciate those kind of answers (and those kinds of questions too as I often have asked them unwittingly).

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