Opposition Says Government All Wet – Pour Cold Water on Fake Lake
OTTAWA (Slings and Arrows) – Opposition politicians have been highly critical of the costs associated with the G8 and G20 summits later this month, referring to government costs as a “billion dollar boondoggle”.
Almost $2 million of those costs are associated with a downtown Toronto media centre, miles away from the G8 meeting in the picturesque and lake-filled Muskoka region of Ontario. The millions are being spent to “re-create” the Muskoka region for 3,000 Toronto-bound reporters with a man-made lake, canoes, a dock, trees and a jumbotron playing images from Muskoka.
Earlier this week Mr. Ican Spin, a spokseperson with the Summits Management Office of the department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade, issued a clarification on the expenses, waving aside critics, saying the money being spent is not just for the so-called fake lake but much, much more so that foreign reporters can truly experience all the Canadian outdoors has to offer.
“For example, we’ve hired 2,000 students and sent them to Muskoka,” said Mr. Spin, “so that they can capture thousands upon thousands of mosquitos and black flies which we’ll bring back to Toronto and let loose in the media centre.”
Ican Spin also indicated that in order to make a marketing and tourism splash with foreign reporters there was much more associated with the water theme. For example, there will be an outdoor swimming pool built to accommodate 3,000 reporters…
A multi-run water slide…
And for those journalists of a more sedentary nature, a swim up bar…
Opposition members, who, oddly enough, are currently in talks to pool their resources, were nevertheless quick to take time out to decry the government’s spending on such frivolity; a virtual tsunami of critical comments flowed from opposition benches.
The Prime Minister, who for some reason has recently gained the nickname “Hedonistic Harper” was heard to mumble: “We’re sunk, now.”