Queen Begins Canadian Tour

It’a A Kind Of Magic

by nonamedufus

HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA (Slings and Arrows) – Fans of royalty in this Atlantic port city were the first Canadians to get a glimpse of her majesty on her latest tour of the Canadian realm.

As her plane touched down yesterday, the skies opened up.  Deplaning, the Queen was overheard saying to her Chief of Staff, Galileo, “Thunderbolts and lightening, very, very frightening me, Galileo.”

High temperatures and large crowds are thought to be responsible for a young girl bearing flowers for the Queen to faint in her presence.  “Another one bites the dust” Prince Phillip was heard to murmur.

As the local Halifax bicycle team paraded by the royal couple, the Queen commented that she always enjoyed a good bicycle race.

When asked by well-wishers how she and Prince Phillip had remained married for so long, Queen Elizabeth replied, “Oh, it’s a crazy little thing called love”.

The crowd on hand was polite and appreciative save one member who was heard to remark, “She sits so much, it’s a wonder she’s not a fat bottomed girl.”

One of the Fat Bottomed Girls?

The Queen appearing to bask in the adulation of the crowd, whispered to Prince Phillip, “I want it all – people think I want to break free but I want it all.”

An appreciative group of monarchists in the crowd  began to chant “She’s a killer Queen”.   The Queen reacted with a smile, saying, “They love me like there’s no tomorrow.”

Some broadcast journalists in the media contingent thought it was all so much radio ga-ga, remarking that at times she blows hot and cold.  Others were heard to comment that it was quite understandable as she’s always under pressure.

Ask any monarchist, however, and they’ll tell you that “These are the days of our lives”.

Overhearing such positive remarks, the Queen turned to Prince Phillip from the royal viewing stand and whispered, “We are the champions!”  But Phillip replied, “Pshaw, who wants to live for ever.”

A group of Newfoundlanders who had travelled from the “rock” to catch a glimpse of the royal couple held a banner aloft inviting them to visit their province.  It read, “we will, we will rock you!”

But it was an aging hippie in the crowd who, squinting  through her pink granny glasses, best summed up the day with, “You know, I liked them a lot better when Freddie Mercury was alive.”

God save the Queen


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