Willie And Frankie #4

These are the continuing adventures of Willie and Frankie; two security guards on Parliament Hill, walking the deserted and darkened halls in the wake of the summer recess. Um, “adventures” might be too strong a word.

Frankie: Whew, Willie, it sure is hot around here these days.

Willie: Yeah that gun registry debate’s sure heated up.

Frankie: No, no, Willie, I’m talking about the weather. And it’s not the heat…

Willie:…it’s the humidity?

Frankie: Yeah.

Willie: Eww, I hate when that happens.

Frankie: When what happens?

Willie: When the humidity makes it feel like over 40 degrees. Ottawa hasn’t seen hot since Maxime Bernier took that biker babe to his swearing in.

Frankie: I tell ya who’s hot, Willie.

Willie: Helena Guergis, Frankie?

Frankie: Yesterday’s news, Willie. No Prime Minister Harper’s hot.

Willie: Yeah, we’re all hot right now, Frankie. Duh, the heat wave!

Frankie: No, he’s so hot I think he melted a couple of ice floes on his northern trip.

Willie: Eww, I hate when that happens.

Frankie: Figuratively, Willie. He seems to have taken the upper hand in terms of getting good media coverage. Even with his comment that he makes the rules.

Willie: Eww, I hate when that happens.

Frankie: Yeah, me too.

Willie: What about Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff? He laid on lobsters for the media this week at the party caucus in Baddeck. They were all ga-ga, and stumbling over themselves to see who could tweet first about how happy they were to be with the Liberal Express by beautiful Baddeck. Even David Achin’ joined the Liberal love-in. That fella’s crazy like a Fox.

Frankie: Eww, I’ll bet Tory Makemesick hates when that happens. Where was Brian Silly when all this was happening?

Willie: Tory says unlike the “lamestream media”, doing “hard news and straight talk” about a a woman doctor who died after getting herself stuck in a chimney.

Frankie: Woah! We may be hot but she’s cremated! She sure made an ash of herself.

Willie: Yeah, I hate when that happens.

With apologies to Billy Crystal and Christopher Guest from Saturday Night Live 1985.


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Filed under conservatives, Liberals, media, Sun Media

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