Parliamentarians Get Their Own Cheering Section

Here They Go Now Here They Go

by nonamedufus

OTTAWA (S&A) – The Speaker of the House of Commons announced today that backbenchers from all parties would soon be getting a little extra help during the daily Question Period. The House of Commons is about to become the first legislature in the country to have it’s own cheerleaders.

The bipartisan squad known as The Raucous Caucus has been practicing routines for several weeks now in the Railway Committee room.

Do those guys have to look up our dresses like that?

“The move is intended to create an air of civility in the House,” said Speaker Orr Ater. “Half the time backbenchers act like trained seals applauding their leaders and the other half they act like buffoons hooting and hollering across the aisle at members opposite. These young people will enhance the in-House experience.”

The speaker says they’ll wait to see if they should blast loud dance music in the House between leader’s statements.

The Speaker is hopeful this measure will tone down the buffoonery while at the same time engage people in the public galleries as well as viewers of the Parliamentary Channel.

The new Usher of the Sis-Boom-Bah, Priscilla PomPom told Slings and Arrows, “We’ve got a number of simple routines worked out aimed at lowering the rhetoric and heightening the support for civil debate.”

Ms. PomPom says the cheers include one worked up for Conservative backbenchers:

Who rocks the House? (clap, clap)

I said Steve rocks the House (clap, clap)

And when Steve rocks the House (clap, clap)

We rock it all the way down (clap, clap)

A failure with the Tory caucus, Helena Guergis tries out for the Raucous Caucus

A cheer’s been pulled together for the Liberals, too.

Give me an I

Give me a G

Give me another G

Give me a Y

What’s that spell? (Iggy)

What’s that spell? (IG-GEE…YAY, WA-HOO)

And the cheerleading team is currently working on a chant for the NDP

We know Jack (clap)

You don’t know Jack (clap, clap)

And that’s as far as Ms PomPom and her girls have got on that one.

The Bloc Quebecois are cheerleaderless because Ms PomPom said they couldn’t work up a cheery routine around separatism.

Without cheerleaders BQ leader Duceppe is reduced to giving Harper a raspberry

Speaker Orr Ater was asked why he undertook this unusual measure. He replied, “Hey, if it’s good enough for the Edmonton Oilers then it’s good enough for snake oil salesmen.”



Filed under Parliament

2 responses to “Parliamentarians Get Their Own Cheering Section

  1. Cheerleaders are great, I’m all over the idea, might make proceedings a bit more interesting.

    Then again, cheerleaders are more interesting than gridiron too, seem to think I read that somewhere recently.

    • Cheerleaders would be great in the House of Commons. They’d be wasted on the Edmonton Oilers. In Parliament they might take our minds off of those bozos in the front and backbenches.

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