Here They Go Now Here They Go
OTTAWA (S&A) – The Speaker of the House of Commons announced today that backbenchers from all parties would soon be getting a little extra help during the daily Question Period. The House of Commons is about to become the first legislature in the country to have it’s own cheerleaders.
The bipartisan squad known as The Raucous Caucus has been practicing routines for several weeks now in the Railway Committee room.
“The move is intended to create an air of civility in the House,” said Speaker Orr Ater. “Half the time backbenchers act like trained seals applauding their leaders and the other half they act like buffoons hooting and hollering across the aisle at members opposite. These young people will enhance the in-House experience.”
The speaker says they’ll wait to see if they should blast loud dance music in the House between leader’s statements.
The Speaker is hopeful this measure will tone down the buffoonery while at the same time engage people in the public galleries as well as viewers of the Parliamentary Channel.
The new Usher of the Sis-Boom-Bah, Priscilla PomPom told Slings and Arrows, “We’ve got a number of simple routines worked out aimed at lowering the rhetoric and heightening the support for civil debate.”
Ms. PomPom says the cheers include one worked up for Conservative backbenchers:
Who rocks the House? (clap, clap)
I said Steve rocks the House (clap, clap)
And when Steve rocks the House (clap, clap)
We rock it all the way down (clap, clap)
A cheer’s been pulled together for the Liberals, too.
Give me an I
Give me a G
Give me another G
Give me a Y
What’s that spell? (Iggy)
What’s that spell? (IG-GEE…YAY, WA-HOO)
And the cheerleading team is currently working on a chant for the NDP
We know Jack (clap)
You don’t know Jack (clap, clap)
And that’s as far as Ms PomPom and her girls have got on that one.
The Bloc Quebecois are cheerleaderless because Ms PomPom said they couldn’t work up a cheery routine around separatism.
Speaker Orr Ater was asked why he undertook this unusual measure. He replied, “Hey, if it’s good enough for the Edmonton Oilers then it’s good enough for snake oil salesmen.”