Parliament In Need Of Extreme Makeover

Canadians learned last week that Ottawa’s historic Parliament buildings require an extreme makeover costing somewhere in the area of $5 billion and expected to take over 15 years to complete. Couple this with some alleged shady dealings between the government and Hill renovation contractors it’s obvious Prime Minister Harper is in need of a renovation expert.

The solution lies with HGTV. Sure, think about it. They have all the experts in one place. Overseeing the parliamentary precinct project would be -who else – Mike Holmes. This guy’s undertaken new homes in flood-ravaged New Orleans, an energy-efficient home from the ground up and houses on First Nations reserves. If you want to do it right, call Mike.

Given the shenanigans that have resulted in shoddy renovations to date Mike will want to bring in that guy from Disaster DIY. He in turn might want to get MPs from all parties engaged. After all there’s nothing like a little Sweat Equity.

Now, understandably, the House of Commons needs to find a new place to hold their debates while renovations are undertaken to the Centre Block. Who better to call than House Hunters. They find houses for people every single week – every day in re-runs. I’m sure they can find a House of Commons.

The Senate will have to move too. I think we should call those Brits from Relocation, Relocation, Relocation. Phil and that frumpy woman. You know who I mean. The one that dresses like a cow. Kirstie Allsopp, yeah that’s her.

Helping Parliamentarians moo-ve

To ensure taxpayers get their money’s worth the government should bring in the folks from Bang For Your Buck.

To undertake these renovations economically the people at Hidden Potential might be useful.

Of course Canadians will have to buy into this approach so that guy who sits on the roof in Buy Me might be hired to mount a communications campaign.

But he better keep it straightforward and simple. After all, Canadians aren’t exactly Property Virgins.

Make it right, Mike.


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