Currently Being Recalibrated
by nonamedufus
OTTAWA (Slings And Arrows) — Parliamentarians will have a new menu item to chew on when they eventually return to the hallowed halls of the House of Commons and the Senate in March. Executive chef Ivanna Burnit tells Slings and Arrows that with the help of Conservative Member of Parliament Dean Del Mastro and Conservative Senator Mike Duffy, two political heavyweights, kitchen staff have been developing, testing and tasting the new dish since Parliament was prorogued December 30th.
“Well Duffy and Del Mastro have been doing the tasting,” said Ms Burnit. “But we want to be ready with this gastronomical delight when MPs and Senators return from their vacation…erm…um…rest…uh…ah…period of, of, of interregnum.”
Senator Duffy…official government taste tester
Ms Burnit explained that the dish will be quite simple and quick to prepare, catering to political types with a penchant to eat and run. This is something they may have to do if they eat too many too quickly. The main ingredients consist of dough, mashed potatoes and grated cheese. The chef says all kinds of toppings will be available to reflect Parliament’s multi-cultural environment. These will include, onions, bacon, mushrooms, sour cream for opposition members, and – for Bloc Members in particular – maple syrup.
“It’s a commemorative dish to remind members of the time the Prime Minister kept them away from the House,” said Burnit. “We’re marking the occasion on the Member’s menu with a delightful selection of Parliamentary Perogies.”
Parliamentary Restaurant…famous perogy pocket of Parliament
Added Burnit, following a lengthy discussion with government mouthpiece Dimitri Soudas, “It’s a good thing the Prime Minister prorogued Parliament. It allows kitchen staff the time necessary to consult with members and recalibrate our recipe so we can let parliamentarians know in what direction the restaurant wants to take them.”
“I’m sure members will comment appropriately, after they’ve digested this menu marvel, in their speech from the throne.”
Slings And Arrows 