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Willie And Frankie #7

These are the continuing adventures of Willie and Frankie; two security guards on Parliament Hill, walking the deserted and darkened halls long after MPs and Senators have retreated from the Parliament buildings for the day. Um, “adventures” might be too strong a word.

Frankie: Heya Willie how’s it going?

Willie: Fine Frankie. How about you?

Frankie: Oh I don’t know. Did you ever take…

Willie: A questionable renovating contractor’s T-square?

Frankie: Yeah, and tried to balance it on your head but it falls off your head and cuts your big toe off?

Willie: Eeew, I hate when that happens.

Frankie: Yeah I think there’s something nasty afoot when it comes to these Parliament Building renovations.

Willie: Aside from your big toe?

Frankie: Yeah I think something stinks around here, Willie.

Willie: Are talking about illegal contracting practices?

Frankie: No, now I’m talking about my big toe. I think gangrene’s setting in and oh does it smell.

Willie: Eeew, I hate when that happens.

Frankie: Speaking of stinky political practices, I see the government made a decision on that big potash transfer business.

Willie: Yeah, now what’s that all about, Frankie?

Frankie: Well an Australian mining company called BHP Billiton undertook a hostile takeover.

Willie: Speaking of hostile that’s exactly how Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall appears these days.

Frankie: With good reason. He wanted the takeover turned down. He says the province stands to lose billions of dollars in lost revenue. He’s in a real set-to with Ottawa over this.

Willie: Geez, Frankie, sounds like there’s more fertilizer coming from the politicians than under the ground in Saskatchewan.

Frankie: Good one, Willie.

Willie: I just have one question Frankie.

Frankie: What’s that Willie?

Willie: Well, first, I thought pot was illegal in Canada and, second, wouldn’t you have to smoke a lot of it to come up with enough pot ashes to make the deal worthwhile?

Frankie: Eeew, I’d hate if that happened.

With apologies to Billy Crystal and Christopher Guest from Saturday Night Live 1985.

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